How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?
Titanic was sinking.
Passenger: "How far are we from land?"
Captain: "Two miles."
Passenger: "Which direction?"
Captain: "Down."
I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"
How do you turn a straight guy into you a gay guy well... For starts you grab that ass of his drag him into the bathroom and tell him to suck my long big pineapple and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into dick suckin machine
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.
How many baby’s does it take to paint a wall ..... Depends on how hard you throw them
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the router.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."
How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree?
You wave at him.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He forgot his log on password.
how many russians does it take to change a light bulb. I don't know they just keep Putin them in.
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... how mae Ingers am I hoing up
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... How many fingers am I holding up?
How many Lowe’s could Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe’s?
How do you make a cat go "woof"?
... douse it in gasoline and set it on fire! "woof!"
Theres a old lady doing gardning every year nothing grows she goes the the man who lives next door she sez how do you get your tomartoes so big an red he tells her you show them your privates at night time so she leaves that night latter she goes out side an shows the garden her privates the next shes got Zucchinis a meter long !
