Howe jokes
I like my women how I like my fridge.
In the kitchen.
A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?
How do you get a million Pikachus in a bus?
You shove them on!
How does an Indian open his car?
"Boot, boot!" (in an Indian accent)
How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball and told her to “read this book”.
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
How did Stephen Hawking die? His wife needed to charge her iPhone.
How many cats are in the human body?
None, unless you're Asian.
a man died with an erection. the three nurses in the morgue saw this the first nurse climbs on and rides him. the second nurse dose the same the third hesitates saying "i'm on my period." the others say its ok hes dead so she rides him to. when she's done he sits up and all the nurses ask how hes alive he replies i'm good to go after the two jumpstarts and blood transfusion
There are 30 cows in a field, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
A - 10
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.
On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.
“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.
How do you throw a space party?
You planet! 🤣🤣🤣
There are 6 kinds of vitamins. Wanna know how the 6th vitamin was made? Just ask the Ku Klux Klan, they will tell you.
Why do orphans have phones?
Because they don't know how to call home.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."
After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”