So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
How do you get Dick from Richard?
You ask nicely.
When someone calls you, say this: "Hi, welcome to Dave’s Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and sick his dick.
YEET YEET YEET YEET YEEET EYYYETETETYETEYETYETTEYTEYTEY EYYEYETYETYETYETYETYETEYEYEYEYEYTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
How many YEETS are there?
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.
"Hey, how do I look?"
"With your eyes, Joe."
What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.
How many times does it take to make a octopus laugh?
Tentickles
Hey John, how are you going?
Helium, yeah good, what about you?
(Hey Liam)
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
Q: How do you get a one armed person out of a tree?
A: You wave at them.
I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.
Some of you people on here are complete incels and need to learn how to spell and properly construct simplistic grammatical sentences that actually make sense.
How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"
I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
Q: How did the explorers get to school?
A: They rode the Colum-bus!
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
