Hi how are you today
How long is it?
Do you want to know how to make a Smurf? CHOKE A MIDGET!
What Did One Bean say To The Other Bean !
How You Bean !!
Q/How many dead babies does it take to paint the wall A/depends how hard you throw them
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He didn't have enough room for any more RAM on his motherboard. I feel so bad for saying that!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His core i5 Overheated. XD
there was 10 cats on a boat 1 jumped off how many where left? I DO NOT KNOW. there was none left they were all a bunch of copycats.
How many babies does it take to replace a light bulb? I'm guessing more than 10 cause its still dark in my basement.
Q: How do you make a fire?
A: Oil and dead babies.
What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.
Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!
Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"
How does a skeleton kill a bug?
They SOCKET!
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.
To not be outdone, the blond retorts:
"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"
GUY 1] how many babies does it take to paint a wall red
GUY 2] depends on how hard you through them
Nobody knows how bad you smell.
How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.
