Howe jokes
Blonde 1: Omg! Yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian!
Blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT
Also Blonde 2: Wait, how much is a Brazilian?
How can you tell when your sister is on her period?
Your dad's knob tastes funny.
How do you get chewing gum out of a child's hair? Cancer.
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?
When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.
How do you stop a heterosexual woman from sucking your dick? piss inside her mouth
How do you say "nose" in Spanish?
hmm.... No sé.
A women's knitters group is having a meeting, and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies.
One woman says, "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system."
Another knitter says, "I'm taking folic acid to help my baby's brain."
Finally, one woman says, "I'm taking Thalidomide!"
All the women turn to her and say, "Thalidomide! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?"
The woman shrugs her shoulders and says, "I don't know how to knit arms."
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man into giving him a blowjob?
The gay man asks the heterosexual man if he wants to give him a "brojob."
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
How did Fortnite record their henchman sounds?
They asked a bunch of kids with Down syndrome to film a documentary.
How many fingers am I holding up?
Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.
How do you make Stephen Hawking mad?
You turn off the WiFi router.
Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons.
American: "I won't ever see my dog again!"
Italian: "I won't ever make pizzas again!"
German: "Hey, granddad, how have you been?"
How to learn your Vitamins:
A = Art.
B = Bouncy Balls.
C = Cookies.
D = Da Sun.
You'll be smarter than a doctor next time you visit!
Mississippi is a long word. How do you spell it?
How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.
Say hi to outer space. Hi, now say how are you doing to the moon. Hi, how are you doing? Why are you wasting your time? XD lol
A FedEx plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa, but the cargo door wasn't shut properly, and only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane?
Time's up! You took too long; you only had 4 seconds to answer it.
How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door?
Open the fridge, put the elephant in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators.
How did she survive?
Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off, but she was rescued 8 minutes later.