How do you eat a cake?
With a fork!
A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"
The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."
I see how it is y’all be buying toilet paper, stocking up from the Coronavirus, but where on the symptoms does it say diarrhea? Lol, why y’all be buying toilet paper, now I am just confused.
Wood fired pizza?
How's pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O
Please drop a like.
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream and a lot of root beer!
My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.
Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.
how did helen kellers mom punish her? rearranged the furniture
Friend 1: How can the skeleton tell it was going to rain?
Me: He could feel it in his bones.
Friend 1: No, he read the forecast, you fucking idiot!
Heheh ;3
Three copycats on a boat, one jumps off. How many are left? Zero, because they're copycats!
How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road and didn't make it.
Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.
He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"
How do angels 😇 make holy water 💧?
They boil the hell out of it.
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
This man walks into a bar and says, "How do I get service here?"
The assistant bar attendant tells him to take a seat as the bartender will be there to serve him shortly. After 2 minutes, the man says this is ridiculous, that he has to wait. The assistant then offers him a bar snack of free nuts, which the man duly eats. Another 2 minutes go by, and the man then says, "OK, I get it, no service of beer, but free nuts," to which the assistant says, "Hell no, the game starts in 10 minutes." Everyone laughs and claps.
How do we know Stephen is dying in hell
There’s a stairway to heaven.
How did the orphan survive birth?
U
Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today," and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron." Then the first atom said "How Ionic."
How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
The big hand is on the little hand!
