Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
how many babies does it take to paint a wall? 327
I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"
And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"
And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.
How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.
Hey Gwen, how are you? I'm a girl, btw...;)
OK, so Kenya and Kariah are both orphans that hate orphan jokes, so how about we make a joke out of them!
Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."
does anyone know how to add pictures like i need to know
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
how do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see it's facial expressions how do you get it out tortilla chip
how do you put a baby in a blender feet first so you can see it's facial expressions how do you get the baby out with a tortilla chip
How do you call a black pilot?
A pilot, you racist.
How do you get your grass to cut itself?
Make it depressed.
Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."
In Alabama...How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood
Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?
Tj: Good... you?
Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!
Tj: 😏.
Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!
Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?
Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.
Tj: NO!!!!!!
1 day later.
Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩👧👦
Do you Know how to make cry a plumber?.....Kill his family
How do you call a Virgin girl in Alabama? An Orphan
How do you organize a rave party in Ethiopia? Just put some bread on the ceiling.
There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: "Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have! You don't have it because you are poor!" The poor child answers: "You're right, it's very nice, but I have one thing that you don't have!" The rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline, and all the other games that can be done outdoors and says to the poor child: "Look at that beautiful swimming pool I have! It is very big; you don't have it because you are poor!" And the poor child says: "Beautiful, it is really beautiful! But one thing that you don't have." So the rich child feels bad. He says: "Wait, but I'm rich! How is it possible? I have everything I want because I'm rich. Why do you have something that I don't have?" And the poor child says: "I have cancer!"
