How do homeless people move where they're living?
They pick up their box and walk away.
I made a house for orphans and...
they had no clue how to use it.
How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?
He can't run, just hug the bomb.
How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?
"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: 🙄.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: 😳😶😟.
My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!
Little Red Riding Hood has to deliver food to her grandma again. She can drive now because she is sixteen. One the way, she accidentally took the wrong way and got to a different forest where her grandma lives now. She found the wrong cottage that looked like her grandma's home. When she opened the door, she found her younger and older sisters of ages 9, 11, 18, and 22. How old is Little Red Riding Hood?
Answer: 16
Person 1: You are the dumbest person in the class.
Person 2: Well, you're the second. Maybe, but at least I'm not the dumbest.
Person 2: I know how to fix that!
... Next day person commits suicide...
how do u get a depressed person out of a tree..?
you cut the rope they hung them self in...
How did Helen Keller know she went to hell?
She didn't.
I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?
Can all the hot, depressed, suicidal guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we are. For real.
You know how 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9? Well, 10 is afraid because he was in the middle of 9/11.
Sure, just tell me how to put on a mask.
How would you multiply numbers in octoschool?
You octoply, obviously.
How do you know when your sister is on her period? When your dad's cock tastes of blood.
First Date: HE:"i work with animals every day!" SHE:"oh how sweet! what is it that you do?" HE:"I’m a butcher" SHE:“perfect i work with humans i just kill them by cutting them up!” HE:"so its you in the news paper?"SHE:"yes it was,wanna be next?" HE:"no!"
First Date: HE:"i work with animals every day!" SHE:"oh how sweet! what is it that you do?" HE:"I'm a butcher" SHE:"were through!"
How do u find a blind man on a nude beach
It’s not hard
