So, a guy and his brother were walking in the woods, and his brother said, "It's getting dark out here, can we go home?"
The man said, "I know, think how I will feel walking home tonight!"
Do you know how a snail has a "nail," why can't it be a nut?
how do you get a depressed man out of the tree, you cut the rope
how was your day freshfry
How does the skeleton call his friends? With a teleBONE.
Hey D.K., how are you? :)
Love you!
Hello, welcome to Joe’s Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I help you today?
How does MOses brew his coffee?
He brews it.
This is how my mom always threatens me: "I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too." That's why I only have 2 siblings left.
I wonder where the bodies are?
How did the man in prison escape?
He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.
Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?
Q: Ten shepherds out in the sheep field. How do you know which one's gay?
A: He's the one the sheep fuck!
(I'm gay, and I know this joke is demeaning and inappropriate, but I still think it's funny as a 2-inch penis.)
you see, my son is very into astronomy Son- how do stars die Dad- usually overdose son
im suck an asshole to my son my wife divorced me
Brendon, just shut up, no one was talking to you on the fucking joke! And my sis is not a female dog. If she was, then how the hell would she spell!
Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
Butt plug, oh butt plug, get out of me.
Butt plug, oh butt plug, get in my mouth, oh how I wanna taste you.
Oh, butt plug, oh butt plug, something is nutty.
Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw em
Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.
