HI jokes
What were the balloon's last words to his Father?
"Watch me, Pop!"
I was at the orphan place, and I saw a kid crying. And I asked him where his parents are, and he fainted.
What caused Captain Hook's death?
He accidentally used the wrong hand to wipe his ass.
"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"
Guy: shows girlfriend his dick.
Girlfriend: "Cool, where is it?"
Guys, the person that said "suck a dick" was Mase. His real name is Mason, so ya.
Why'd my grandpa fall over?
'Cause I clapped his cheeks, fool!
Hi, son.
My grandpa said my generation relies too much on technology.
Then I unplugged his life support. :)
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
Hi, hello, hello, hello.
JFK was so popular he was banged in front of his Wife.
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
A 9-year-old girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breathe as she waits for the doctor to come.
The doctor finally comes, and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth.
I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.
Me imagining how Batman's hairline looks like.
Nobody: Me: His hairline kinda do look like a Batman symbol.
His hairline is so ugly that Martin Luther King had a dream about it.
Hi, are you even my sister?
Yes, I am.
No, you're not, because you never even existed as my sister.