HI jokes

You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

Why did the orphan go to the monkey exhibit?

To see his closest relatives.

What do you call the musical kid who is very aware of his surroundings?

C sharp minor.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to finish his essay, or the teacher was gonna whoop his fat butt cheeks!

The youngest of the Twin Towers said, "Goodbye, brotha." But the one who got hit, which is the oldest, said, "If I go down, you go with me!"

Why does Donald Trump love little boys? Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little prepubescent cocks.

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

Dad: What did your older brother say before he lost his virginity?

Son: Dad, please don't.

Dad: Exactly.

Why did Michael Jackson love melted chocolate? Because he could pour it on his cock, then get a prepubescent boy to suck it off.

I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.

After the school shooting, Joe pretended to be a victim while his sister ate the flesh of the fallen.

Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?

He's all right now.