New HI Jokes - Page 22 - Worst Jokes Ever

Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?

A. Because he got hit by a truck.

My grandpa told me I was too dependent on devices. I told him he was a hypocrite and unplugged him from his life support.

How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.

This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."

Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.

If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?

Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.

Technoblade should have drank milk. Would have gotten rid of all his status effects!

Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.

What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.

How did a man know his wife died?

Dishis start piling up.

What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?

One of them actually came back.

Why was baptism invented?

How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?

I asked a kid why he was so blue.

Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.

*True story*

I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"

I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.

Why did the orphan water his cereal instead of milk?

Their dad never came back with the milk.

My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"

He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.