Hes jokes
My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.
I still remember the last thing Gaster said before he kicked the bucket, it was, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?" (Sans)
Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
What did the cat say when he got mad?
I'm hissed!
I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.
My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.
I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.
My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.
Why did the cheetah get kicked out of poker?
'Cause he was a cheetah.
Someone in my class described the KKK as ghosts with pointy hats... I mean, he's not wrong.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.
Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.
He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.
My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.