Head jokes
One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"
His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."
The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."
One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"
There were two sisters. They said they were supporting nine eleven, so I shot one of the sister's kneecaps, and the other sister got shot in the head.
Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.
The tortoise was swimming through the lake. His head got stuck in plastic. He said, "Oh dam."
The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.
Dam, sometimes when I look at my friend's head, I say, "Dam, that's a dam big head, Nick." Then he is like, "Dude, that's a literal dam."
A bullet is like an arrow.
Nothing can stop it from going through your head.
What has 15 arms, 9 legs, 8 heads, and 12 eyeballs?
A mosque after a missile strike.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick. Get your head out of the gutters... Jeez!
What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana’s head before she died?
The steering wheel.
Your hairline starts at the back of your head.
What first went through Sally’s head when the Nazis came?
A bullet.
Little Johnny walked in on his mom in the shower and said, "What's that on your chest, Mom?" Mom said, "Those are my headlights." Johnny: "Oh. What's that in between your legs, Mom?" Mom: "Oh, that's my bush." Johnny: "Oh, OK." Next, he walked in on his dad in the shower. He said, "Dad, what's that in between your legs?" Dad: "Oh, that's my snake." Johnny: "Oh, OK." That night, little Johnny walks in on his parents going at it and said, "Mom, turn on his headlights, there's a snake going in your bush!"
Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
Because his head is so high up in the air.
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
Why do orphans live on the street?
They don't have parents to put a roof over their head.
Your forehead's so big that you dream in 4k.
Roses are red, life has no meaning, voices in my head, are constantly screaming.
How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb? None! They are still too busy trying to turn off the dark.
Click...uh Click..........,.UH!!
Confucius say, never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid: you’ll lose every time and only hurt yourself.
(mono gloid? mong a’ loid squeals)
Did you hear the one about the dog raised by retards?
All he’d do is go “Uh-f, uh-f....Ooohhhh!”
Your forehead is so big they call you the Leaning Tower of Forehead!