How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.
Travis has baby hands.
Dead people can’t cross the street because they're dead, ha ha!
Why do orphans only buy iPhone XS?
Because it has a home button.
There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.
There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.
There was a deaf man. He was deaf. Ha, sucks for him! (sans undertale)
How do you close a cabinet?
You closet! Hahahhyaahhahaaahhahaha!
Jesus has a twisted humor.
kittens cute cuddly and loveable oh yeah, I almost forgot, add razors that stick out [of] their feet.
Why did the girl not eat her dinner?
because she has an eating disorder.
Every hair zodiac has a hairstyle--except Cancer.
My wife was going to have an abortion and I have cancer.
Ha Ha Ha
I thought it was funny.
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
I have a cow over at my house spending the night with me because she has been out in the streets homeless and poor, so my family forced it to come and live with me at my place.
The cow asks me, "Where do I keep all the dairy items like the milk, cheese, yogurt, and meat?" I tell her, "In the refrigerator! Where do you think I keep them, on the farm with all the rest of those cows?"
That night we had to share a room and sleep in the same damn bed. Then she started getting high and drank some cow wine with titty milk, and it made her shit all over the bed.
"NORTH KOREA HAS ITS OWN NORTH KORONAVIRUS. IT STARTED THERE."
What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
Take him for a drag.
Every moon has a silver lining.
What’s green and has wheels?
Grass, I lied about the wheels.
What camel has 3 humps?
...A pregnant one.
What do you call someone that is Mexican that has a BMW?
A big Mexican woman.
When you split Uranus in half, it is "ur-anus." That's why it has a butts joke. Weird.
