HA

HA jokes

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.

As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

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  • A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd-shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.

    As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

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  • A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank, has jotted that down on his notebook, he says, "Oh, I see."

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  • I asked my mum why sheโ€™s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.

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  • There was always that one specific person you thought ruined your life, but it turns out your life has always been ruined by you being in it.

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  • What do you call a pillow that has been on the bed for 20 years in jail?

    A criminal! ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

    A man was asked by his 21 years old daughter, "Dad, how do you give a blowjob to a man that has a big dick?"

    Her father replied, "Honey, you should have watched me last night. It was inside my mouth. Does it cycle now?"

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  • You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded. What is the first thing you do?

    Check your map, youโ€™re obviously going in circles.

    What's the difference between my basement and my garage?

    One has a pile of babies' bodies; the other has their heads.

    Why was the orphan walking through the neighborhood? I don't know, either. It's not like he has a home to go to.

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  • I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.

    Slavery has existed in the western world for 3 centuries, but in the Arab regions it has existed before and is still going on, so why donโ€™t people talk about it?

    Because itโ€™s only bad when white people do it.

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