Grandfather

Grandfather Jokes

An 80 year old blind man ask his grandson can you grab my glasses Then the grandson say did you get in the flour again Grandpa said no it was the weed

What's the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.

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I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather. Good thing is, since he hit his head he can't remember either.

Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral?

While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.

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When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, “You use way too much technology!”. Jim then said, “No, YOU use too much technology!” and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.

One day a boy asks his grandfather for some money, and the grandpa says “well can your dick touch your asshole?” To which the boy replied “no”. So the grandpa says “okay.” And leaves it at that and walks off. A few years later the boy asks his grandfather for some money again and his grandfather once again asks “can your dick touch your asshole?” To which the boy proudly says “yes it can.” To which the grandpa says “good, now go fuck yourself.”

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