Free

Free Jokes

My Cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the Dr. once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her. She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day. I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my Cat is a Democrat!

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Life is a or like a penis. Long, free, flowimg, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard.😉

A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke so the Guy replies "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke so the Guy replies "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke so the Guy replies "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke so the Guy replies "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke so the Guy replies "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke so the Guy replies "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke so the Guy replies "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke so the Guy replies "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke so the Guy replies "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke so the Guy replies "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke so the Guy replies "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke so the Guy replies "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke so the Guy replies "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke so the Guy replies "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke so the Guy replies "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke so the Guy replies "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke so the Guy replies "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke so the Guy replies "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke so the Guy replies "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke so the Guy replies "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke so the Guy replies "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke so the Guy replies "A guy walks into a bar..." The bartender says " Just stop and take your fucking drink

I ask my sister why does the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time. My siister said to me I love him long time.

A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation the man yelled. FREE DISHWASHER!

What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler

What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer

What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies

Three nuns up to Mother Teresa and say Mother Teresa we would not like to be eaten anymore Mother Teresa says okay but first you have to do something Unholy so they a leave and come back 3 days later the first one the first one says Mother Teresa I did something Unholy I took a little kids bike Mother Teresa says okay who drink from the holy water and you are free to go II unlocks upset I did it something worse than her I slept with a married man the last nun walks up and says I did something worse than all of them Mother Teresa says oh god oh gosh are there in the third nut and says I peed in the holy water

Free will is like having a vagina you don't need to know how to use it and you don't need to know what it does but what matters is that you have it.

Hey guys! It's Triple G you can give me more ideas on jokes, mainly Fish and Sea jokes as those are the jokes I specialise and only do best on the comment section below. Please do feel free to thumbs down and comment on improvements as well as thumbsing up and saying what you liked! :)

Au revouir, GGG

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills so he asks the bartender if its a jar of tips. The bartender says no, its for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, well if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month. So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog, when all is silent the man walks in and asks, so where is the fat lady with the tooth?

H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?

W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.

*Later that day*

W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?

H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.