Feng Shui jokes

Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself, "Where the f*ck is my roof?"

What has two wings and a halo?

A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?

I can see my future in your forehead.

So the other day, I was looking up zodiac sign stuff, you know, I'm a real big fan of that, and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have their own hairstyles... except Cancer.

Every zodiac sign has a hairstyle except for Cancer.