Expenditure jokes

What do women and pools have in common?

They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.

What is the difference between giving money to a church and giving money to the IRS?

If you stop giving money to a church, you won't go to prison.

What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? You don't get something in return if you give money to a church.

Due to the rising cost of ammunition, there will be no warning shots.