Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod
A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, your f**ked.
Friend #1: “Yo guys, what’s the most unfair game you’ve ever played? For me it’s Fortnite.”
Friend #2: “I’d have to say Monopoly.”
Me: “The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it’s a one-way game.”
Friend #2: “Uhh…that’s not exactly what he meant…”
Friend #1: calls the suicide hotline
My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa, I asked “Why is it because he gives people presents?” Jimmy told me “No it’s because I hear so many good things about him but and how he’s gonna come home, but never see him.”
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? – Itenticle.
Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.
A baby skunk’s mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn’t know what he is. So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks ‘What are you?’, the baby bunny replies ‘Well I’m a baby bunny. What are you?’ the baby skunk says 'Well I don’t know am I a baby bunny too?' the baby bunny says ‘No you’re not a baby bunny.’ so the baby skunk asks 'Well what am I then?' the baby bunny replies ‘Well you’re not exactly blank and you’re not exactly white so you must be Mexican.’
Son: mom what is dark humor? Mom: son do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?
Son: Mother you know im blind and cant see!! Mom: exactly!
kid asks "what is dark humor?" me points"see at that guy across the street…" kid:"i can’t… I’m blind" me:"exactly "
Daughter: Dad, what’s your opinion on abortions?
Dad: Ask your sister
Daughter: But I don’t have a sister
my friend; yo stupid me; is that right and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you einstien My friend; rolls eyes and says whatever me; keep on rolling them you might find your brain in there
James: I have a joke. Sex! Ronny: I don’t get it. James: Exactly.
Denki- hey mineta i have a joke Mineta- …go on… Denki- Ochakos booty Mineta- i dont get it? Denki- exactly Mineta- cries T_T
Voldemort: Knock Knock. Harry Potter: Who’s There? Voldemort: You Know. Harry Potter: You Know Who? Voldemort: Exactly!
/Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?" “To the morgue.” “What? But I’m not dead yet!” “And we’re not there yet.”
China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.
What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire? —You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.
I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters. He was a great πthon.
denki- hey Mineta i have a joke for you)Mineta- go on)Denki- Ururaka’s booty)Mineta- i don’t get it) Denki- exactly) mineta- ^cries T_T^)
Dark Humor: Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap Son: Mom, I’m blind Mom: Exactly Inspired by my derp other half