Eviction jokes

I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!

What a negative effect!

My friend just got a new house. He told me to make myself at home, so I threw him out. I hate visitors.

Bippity Boppity, I'm gonna shoot you off my property!

So you can't pay rent and you know you're going to get evicted, but all of the sudden you hear a knock on your door and it's your landlord, but he's naked and erect, and on his cock, it says, "Your rent is due."

My midget landlord told me to pack my things up and that I've got 30 minutes to get out. That's short notice!