Evening Prayer jokes

When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.

Boy goes to Confession.

Boy: "What are you doing, father?"

Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."

Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"

Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."

Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.

I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."

I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"

Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "Johnny, do you pray before you eat?" Little Johnny says, "I don't need to, my mum makes good food."