Engagement Ring jokes

Wives are like grenades. Remove the ring and boom, the house is gone!

Marriage is like a deck of cards.

In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.

By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.

How do emos propose?

"Would you like to join my family tree?"

My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day:

Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you're told.

What’s the key to a successful relationship?

Consent.