Elderly Care jokes
Today is Elder Abuse Awareness Day.
Unfortunately, they're still not giving lessons on how to beat an annoying Alzheimer's patient without leaving a mark.
When I cut vegetables for my famous stew, I don’t know why everyone in the nursing home is always looking at me.
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
My local pet store sells prong collars to get dogs to behave.
But when I tried them on an Alzheimer's patient, I got fired from the nursing home.
I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.
Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.
When your mum tells you to help your granny And you in plug life support.
Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...
"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"
"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."
Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?