Driver jokes
Me dozing off while driving.
Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.
Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.
Want to know of a funny joke?
Women drivers.
I just found out that there is a racist stereotype about Asians being bad drivers, which isn't true... but if it is, then maybe Pearl Harbor was just an accident.
UGHHHHHHH TODAY WAS TERRIBLE! My wife got hit by a bus!!! And I lost my job as a bus driver!
Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.
I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.
Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was and pointed to me. I pushed him out of the car, and my other boyfriend took the front seat.
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."
When the driver ran out of fuel, what kind of gasoline did he use? Grassoline.
Why are all fat people bad drivers?
They are all hungover.
Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.
She got mad and ate the bus!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
"Just because I don't like Lewis Hamilton, doesn't make me racist."
There are two Mexicans in a car. Who's driving?
A cop.
All then are bad.