So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
Just because I don't like Lewis Hamilton, doesn't make me racist.
There are two Mexicans in a car. Who's driving?
A cop.
If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?
A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
Are you a race car?
Cuz I’m tryna fuck.
Bus driver: Please give your seat to the white person.
Rosa Parks: Ok.
I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any--let's just say I lost my job as a bus driver.
Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.
Also, I have the same Birthday as her, so I have the pass.
What is the bus 🚎
What did the traffic light 🚦 say to the car 🚗? Don’t look, I’m about to change!
What do you call a school bus driver that can not walk.? A silly 😝 school bus driver
What is a bus driver that does not work? A useless one!
What is better for bus drivers? A. Magic school bus 🚌
What is big and fun and yellow? A school bus 🚌
What do you call a school bus driver that keeps going to sleep? A monster.
What did the bus driver say to the car? What is your address
What did the bus driver say to the nut 🥜?
"Where do you live?"
There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"
