Double meaning jokes

What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?

Reload and keep shooting.

Q: What's the best part about gardening?

A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.

Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.

Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.

One Erection would be a very nice name for a gay band.

What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉

Something you can say at a job interview and during sex:

"I’m here for the new position?"

Why did the farmer go to the strip club?

Because he was looking for his hoe.

What do you call 2 spies fucking?

Undercover.

Why does Michael Jackson like Chef Boyardee? He likes the little balls.

Your daddy must be a drug dealer, because you're dope.

What do teenage girls and happy meals have in common?

They both come with a toy.

Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.

Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)

I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.

(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)

(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])

What letter is really hot? T

C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK

ME SExUAL SRrY LoL

Smoking a fag in the UK means to smoke a cigarette.

Smoking a fag in the USA means to kill a homosexual.

Depressed caller: "I'm done with everything!"

Responder: "Please hang on!"

Like if you know someone is emo.

"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son of his father.

"It means 'happy'," replied the father.

"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"

"No, son, I have a wife."

You got a dig bick.

You read that wrong.

You read that wrong too.

Maybe you read that wrong as well.

You just went and back-checked.

You reread all of that.

You have a pet wussy.

You read that wrong...

You need mental help.

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.

Don't pick flat chests because they will turn their backs on you twice.