DoS jokes
Dad: What time do you wanna go to the dentist?
Daughter: *tooth hurty*
Dad: All right.
Why do bugs hate the internet?
Because they always get caught.
Get it? Inter-net?
A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”
How do you check that a rabbit is old?
You check how many gray hares it has.
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing.
They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
Stop doing these orphan jokes, please, Rob.
What do you call a wild cow in a shop with old things?
A bull in a china shop.
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig.
What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?
Hippo-POT-amus!
What do kids call a balanced meal?
A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD
What do you do when you get a boy named Jackson? You dump him.
Bf: Do you love me?
Gf: Most of the time.
Bf: Well, it's either yes or no.
Gf:...
Bf: Well, when is it that you don't love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you go to the river an hour, then it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: 'Cause you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh...
What do you call a German that is blind? A not-see.
Why are you making all these bad jokes about orphans? What did they ever do to you?
Q: What do you call brown mixed with yellow?
A: Someone who just ate beans.
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
Brother: Your nuts!
Sister: What do you mean? You're the one that has the nuts!
Why do G-Unit and C-Unit stand for? Gorilla unit and chimpanzee unit.
Where do gorillas get all the "pussy" from? The strip club, which is called "Poker Kong Night."