DoS jokes
Why do orphans hate cricket?
Because they can't get a "homerun."
I bullied a handicap today.
What is he gonna do? Stand up for himself?
What do you call a 3 humped camel?
Answer: a prostitute from New York. πππ
Why do orphans only have 363 days of the year? They don't have Mother's or Father's Day.
Why were 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9. Then why was 10 afraid? Because it was between 9/11.
What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43? Floor 44 ππ
What do you cross with a cow and a tiger? (mooigter)
Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?
Because theyβve got guardians!
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
Why do orphans play GTA? So they can be wanted.
What do you call a cow that's on the ground? Ground beef.
What's the grossest mission NASA could do?
Probing Uranus.
What do you call an octopus with eight legs? An octo-pussy!
What do you call an act of βfunnyβ discipline? A PUN-ishment!
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you ain't already told her twice.
What do a fisherman and a prostitute have in common?
They're both hookers.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
My asian neighbors dinner.
Little Johnny asks a fireman, "Do you want to see my fire truck?"
So the fireman goes to look at it. Little Johnny tested it. "I got my hat in my fire truck."
So the fireman says, "Last night's alright, but why is it tied up to you wagging?" And he looks closer and sees the string is tied up in knots. He said, "That's nice all right, but why is it tied up to his nuts?"
The little Johnny said, "Well that's my son," and so he yanks on it.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! π
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"
What do you call a Mexican that smokes weed? A baked bean.