DoS jokes
How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad's c**k tastes like s**t!
Why do people not adhere to the corona measures?
Because they hate their lives and want to die.
So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.
What do you say to a depressed person?
"I like ya cut, G."
Can a cook and clean for real? No, I do not want no rabbit hare in my house.
Where do rabbits sleep?
In the junkyard outside.
I would rather do my own laundry, not my uncle's laundry, because I ain't no damn butler like Alfred from Batman. I don't live in no damn Batcave by Gotham tity.
What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!
Why do orphans play baseball because they try to find home?
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.
What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."
Can I make you a basketball cake for dessert?
Yeah, you sure can, but don't be having all your balls in it. It will taste nasty.
Where do rabbits take baths and wash their asses?
What do you call a Mexican under a carpet? Underlay, underlay.
What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?
A party popper.
Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"
Woman: "Sure."
Man: "How about for ten dollars?"
Woman: "What do you think I am?"
Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! Hahahahahaha!
What do you call a flying pig?
Fiction.
How do you make a plumber die?
You kill his family.
What do you call a Russian pharmacist?
"Ivan Astichestykov."