DoS jokes
I can make 9/11 jokes, but every time I do, they crash and burn.
Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.
What do you call a man with no shins? Tony.
How do you say "fish" without the "i"?
Fsh
What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?
Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.
What do you call a tire that is tired?
A tire, I guess. ❤️
You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.
Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Because they actually came back...
What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have little boy's pants 1⁄2 off...
What do cannibals eat to freshen their teeth?
Mentos.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
What does an orphan call a family photo taking a selfie?
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
What do you call a wheelchair kid that is on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Guys, what do you call an un-aborted and parentless child?...
An orphan.
Punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.