DoS jokes
What do you not say to an Emo if you want them to come round? "Wanna hang out."
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true.
There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
What do you call a sharpened pencil? You call a sharpened pencil a sharpened pencil.
Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?
A: Flip the chair upside down.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"
"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."
What do orphans and Spider-Man have in common?
They both have no way home.
What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.
What do you call an Indian eating cows? Mooove to jail.
What do you think would fall to the ground first, an emo kid or a leaf?
The leaf. The rope would stop the emo kid.
What happens if a redneck is bisexual? Do they go for their brother or sister?
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
I was gonna walk up to an emo and say, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. So when I was little, I met this girl. Her name was Leah. We were besties for a while until I turned 13. Then I asked if she wanted to date me. She said yes!
But one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. I was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3
What do you call an emo with no legs?
Emobile.