Domestic task jokes

What do you do when a person with epilepsy gets seizures in the bathtub? Throw in some laundry.

How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?

A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw them.

The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work... He’s a suicide bomber.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.

Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.

They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.

Women should be allowed to leave the kitchen... to clean the rest of the house.

Women should be allowed to choose: dishes or cooking first.