Dog jokes
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.
On Paxomedy channel, I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting.
I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dug down into the issue, it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock, and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch, and that was the beginning of their fight, and weird enough, the Cock won!
I went to congratulate the winner, but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus, but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa, and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldn't have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment, and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!
"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."
"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world? It only had one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu."
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.
if you play minecraft: your dog is still waiting for you in the world you made along time ago.
My dog is pregnant. I'm gonna be a... I don't know?
Ohhh, an owner.
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...
And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!
Are you a dog because you're a fucking bitch?
Why do animals cross the road?
Because it is funny, do you say "dogs" and "cats?"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ruff ruff.
Ruff ruff who?
Let the dogs out.
What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?
NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!
"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"
How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?
'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.
What is a yellow dog Libertarian?
A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it! 🐕 🗽
Why did Hellen Keller's dogs run away?
Because wouldn't you runway too if your name was djhdhekdndyekedhekekfjkfurir?
I had asked my dog what 2 - 2 is...
She said nothing.
What do dogs and planks have in common? They both have to be walked.