Desensitization jokes

I almost got caught watching porn. My mom got the bill for the account, but luckily dad had my back. I mean, we do use the same account.

When you send nudes to your Roblox gf and your uncle’s phone sounds with a text tone...

I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."

I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"

So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.

Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.

A fake name and a fake phone number.