New Deception Jokes - Page 4 - Worst Jokes Ever

HAHAHAH! You all got April fooled in the wrong month!

What is the worst animal to play cards with? A cheater.

When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.

How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣

I spat on a blind kid and told him it was raining.

You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."

Two nuns walk into a liquor store, and one asked the clerk for the biggest bottle of Irish whisky he had.

The clerk replied, "Heck no sister, you nuns aren't supposed to drink that stuff!" The nun said, "Well my son, it is not for us, you see, it is for Mother Teresa," then the nun whispers, "She has the constipation."

The clerk said, "Oh, in that case, it's on the house. Here's the biggest jug we have." The nuns thank him, bless him, and leave. A few hours later, as the clerk is leaving, he sees the same two sisters in the parking lot, rolling around and drinking the Irish whiskey. Appalled, he goes over to them and says, "You ladies lied to me! You told me it was for Mother Teresa for her constipation!"

One of the nuns takes another swig, looks up at him and says "You wanna know something buddy? She sure will shit when she sees us!"

Give a blind kid a torch and tell him it's a hairdryer.

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.

Me: Want to play 911?

My little brother: What's that?

Me: It's where I kick your legs and you fall.

So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"