Dead babies jokes

Baby

  • What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?

    Stopping it with a shovel.

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  • Tooth

  • (I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes.)

    What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

    I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.

    Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.

    Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.

    Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

    Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

    I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

    My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

    Baby

  • What's the difference between a dump truck of dead babies and a Ferrari?

    I don't own a Ferrari.

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  • Baby

  • What's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies?

    I don't have a car in my garage.

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  • Baby

  • What's the difference between apples and dead babies?

    I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.

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  • Baby

  • What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?

    I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.