Crankiness jokes
What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
The happier they get, the less they see.
A 10-year-old: "I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7."
A 10-year-old, a week later: "Damn... my life is shitty..."
<2 years later> 12-year-old: "What is de-pre-ssion?" *googles it*
Now 14-year-old: "Oh..."
My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won't stop complaining about their mom.
Community talk
Ladies and gentlemen of the forest, let us take a moment to reflect on the astounding uselessness of this creature we call 'the bear.' What does it truly contribute, besides noise, mud tracks, and an endless appetite for honey? It claims strength, yet spends half its life asleep. It claims dominance, yet the most impressive thing it can do is knock over a picnic basket and pretend that’s a skill.
This so-called 'kin… Read more