Corpse

Corpse Jokes

Pool

How are corpses like pools?

Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.

Necrophiliac

What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?

They both like cracking open a cold one.

Necrophilia

I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?

Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!

Coke

I snorted a line of coke off my 8-year-old sister’s tiny prepubescent vag. She just laid there and let me do it without complaining, probably because she was already dead.

Body

I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.

Noose

"Do you have a noose?"

"Nose?"

"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."

"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"

"No."

*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*

Body

Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"

Pen

I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.

Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?

One of them has someone to mourn them.

Noose

Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"

Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."

Hooker

What do you call a dead hooker?

It doesn't matter, she won't answer you.

Orphan

An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"