Corn Syrup jokes

Candy is dandy.

But liquor is quicker.

What was Michael Jackson's favorite dessert? Cream pie.

Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.

Daughter: Mommy?

Mom: Hey.

Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?

Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.

Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...

Them: You want some Lucky Harms?

Me: What are Lucky Harms?

Them: They're Lucky Charms, but instead of being magically delicious, they're magically malicious.