Contact information jokes

A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.

My name, my address, and my phone number.

My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.

So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.

On reddit now. u/Long-Cat-4047. Also email is heavenskala1@gmail.com or Gowiththeflow349@gmail.com

When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!

Why did Michael Jackson die?

Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.

I want your weight, not your phone number.

So I asked a Chinese woman for her number, she said "sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight."

Her friend said "No, it's 666-3629."

Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)

Caller: "Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?"

Operator: "Yes, you can speak to me."

Caller: "No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!"

Operator: "You are talking to someone! Who is this?"

Caller: "I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent."

Operator: "I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?"

Caller: "Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital."

Operator: "Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious, but I don't have time for this!"

Caller: "You are so rude! Who are you?"

Operator: "I'm Saw Lee (Sorry)."

Caller: "Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!"

Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.

bradley