Collapse jokes

A burglar breaks into a weapons engineer's house, hoping to loot the high-tech arsenal. Suddenly, the engineer yells from upstairs, "Hey! Stop right there!"

The burglar, trying to play tough, screams, "Hands up! I know you've got the goods! Open the armory or I'll shoot!"

The engineer, trembling, cries, "Okay, okay! Don't shoot! I'll give you everything, even my latest prototype!"

The burglar, eyes gleaming with greed, demands, "Prove it! Let me see this fancy new gun first!"

The engineer points to a target range. "It's a plasma blaster," he claims. "Go ahead, give it a shot."

The burglar aims at the bullseye, pulls the trigger, and—BANG!—the gun fires directly into his own chest.

As the thief collapses, the engineer cackles, "Surprise! It's not plasma; it's my new 'Reverse-Recoil Special,' specifically designed for uninvited guests!"

A small, nervous woman steps into a hotel elevator in Las Vegas.

At the next floor, three large, burly men step in. The woman is immediately intimidated and clutches her purse tightly.

Suddenly, one of the men says in a deep voice: "Hit the floor!"

Terrified that she is about to be robbed, the woman drops her bags and collapses face down onto the floor of the elevator, cowering in fear.

The men burst out laughing and help the bewildered woman up. The speaker apologizes profusely and says: "No, ma'am, I meant hit the button for our floor!"

The next morning, the woman receives a massive bouquet of roses and has her entire hotel bill paid for. Attached is a note that says: "Thanks for the best laugh I've had in years."

What's funny is that I am typing this in the middle of a document... WAIT JENGA!!!!!!!

Next person that says 67, I am gonna yell "9/11" and sweep their feet.

I'd make you fall harder than the South Tower.

Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his gaze is blank. The other hunter grabs his phone and calls emergency services: "My friend is dead! What do I do?"

The emergency dispatcher replies: "Calm down. I can help you. First, make sure he's really dead."

Silence on the other end, then a gunshot. Back on the phone, the hunter asks: "Okay, now what?"

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"

Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.

Just do it.

What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?

Fall Guys.

The Twin Towers are like crippled legs; once they break, they can’t be fixed.

Yo mama so fat, when she went up the elevator, the World Trade Center collapsed.

Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.

What is the difference between the Titanic and the Twin Towers?

They both went down.

Why was the North Tower a bad doctor when the South Tower collapsed?

Because the North Tower didn’t do CPR.

When the South Tower saw the North Tower collapse, he said, "I'm still standing."

What is another name for 9/11?

A forbidden game of Jenga.

I'm pretty sure that 9/11 was the biggest game of Jenga ever recorded in history.

Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?

Because unlike the Twin Towers it can dodge.