Clean jokes

Two women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement.

Emma turns to Jane and says, "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"

Jane replies with, "I burnt to death."

Emma, shocked, responds with, "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"

Jane answers with, "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"

Emma replies with, "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."

Jane retorts with, "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."

Grass is green. I am the queen. If only I can see you scream on the screen.

Things that rhyme with green, queen, screen: clean, between, been, ...

I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so I cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand, I'm glad to help.

I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[

Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.

Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.

It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.

If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean, or is the soap dirty?

I respect woman’s choices... either she wants to cook first, then clean, or she wants to clean first, then cook.

I believe in a woman's right to choose...

...whether she wants to cook first and then clean or clean first and then cook.

What do you call an emo kid playing with fire?

Forgot to clean little piece of dust.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Your ass is clean because Randy won’t stop liking [it].

So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.

Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.

What?

The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*

You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.

Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"

Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"

Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*

Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"

Lady: "Let me do that."

Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"

Hears a clean joke: My horse got muddy, so I gave him a bubble bath.

Now hears a dirty joke: Bubbles is the horse next door.

My mom told me to clean the sink, but I couldn’t find you.

I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...

My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.

Why are Germans so good at cleaning?

They have experience in ethnic cleansing.