Clean jokes
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.
I was gonna clean my room
before I got high.
Dirty Joke: A boy fell in the mud.
Clean Joke: He took a bath with bubbles.
Dirty Joke: Bubbles was the girl next door.
What do butts say?
"Help me, I'm getting wiped clean!"
Kid: I don't want to go to the movies.
Mom: Shut your mouth and clean my room!
I want a job cleaning mirrors. I could really see myself doing it!
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?
Q: What do you call a clean idiot?
A: Soap on a Dope.
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
I think I might apply for a job cleaning mirrors.
It’s a job I can see myself doing.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
Women should be allowed to leave the kitchen... to clean the rest of the house.
One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.
The man asked for some crack.
The woman turned around and said, "Here."
That's where the crack was, you guessed it.
The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."
Today, my mother was making breakfast. As she was tired, my brother asked if there was anything to do today.
She responded with a list:
- Take out the trash.
- Clean your room.
- Make lunch and be sure to butter the electrical sockets.
That’s all sweetie!
You want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. You want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. You want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was the next door neighbor.
What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.
Who do you call to clean up foul language?
A cuss-todian!
How do you clean ash off a stove with chemicals?