Q: What do you call a clean idiot?
A: Soap on a Dope.
How does Stephan Hawkings get clean.
He used Tesco car wash.
I think I might apply for a job cleaning mirrors.
It’s a job I can see myself doing.
Whats the difference between a pc and a 6 year old, i dont have to clean out my pc
Women should be allowed to leave the kitchen......to clean the rest of the house
One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop. The man asked for some crack The woman turned around and said, 'here.' That's where the crack was. you guessed it.
The next day she wiped it clean ready for the next guest who 'wanted crack' ;)
Today, my mother was making breakfast. As she was tired, my brother asked if there was anything to do today. She responded with a list: -take out the trash -clean your room -Make lunch and be sure to butter the electrical sockets. That’s all sweetie! Explain= You can’t butter a electrical socket
You want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. You want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. You want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was the next door neighbor.
What's the difference between your mom and your dad one leaves your life to go get milk and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry
Who do you call to clean up foul language?
A cuss-todian!
How do you clean ash of a stove with chemicals
If your cleaning a vacuum cleaner does that make you the vacuum cleaner?
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower? You got off clean
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him, "Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it.
The genie says, "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guy says, "Well, I've always wanted to drive out to the Hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says, "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says, "Well, I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could, but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women." The genie thinks for a few moments and says, "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"
A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills.
The cop asks the woman, "Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?"
She replies, "Well, there's a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers."
The cop asks, "So what did you do about it?"
The old lady says, "I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!"
"That seems fair enough," the cop says, "so what's in the other sack?"
The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays..."
A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.
I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.
You know when women clean their nails with chemicals no one cares but when hitler tries to clean poland with chemicals everyone goes crazy
How do you know you’ve been robbed by an Asian?
The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.
Dad: I get to touch animals every day at the zoo. KId: Why? Dad: I clean up animal s hit at a zoo.
