Clean up jokes
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
Dad: I get to touch animals every day at the zoo.
Kid: Why?
Dad: I clean up animal s*** at the zoo.
What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.
My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...
Memes
Me when the underpaid cinema worker says he doesn't want to clean up this mess
One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"
Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?
Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.
Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Maserati.
Maserati who?
Why don't you clean up this Maserati?
Who do you call to clean up foul language?
A cuss-todian!
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.
What do pigs use to clean up? Hogwash.
So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.
Dirty bastards.
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
I was thinking about you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
Nah c'mon guys, we don't let jokes like this fly around here.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his wife?
He wiped.
Community
AHAHRIFBIRBFIBNAIKBNSZIFB NEW BOOK IDEA Valentines Wrath
Core Premise (Cleaned Up)
On Valentine’s Day, a woman is publicly and cruelly dumped by her boyfriend—who admits he has been cheating. Rather than confront the betrayal directly, she becomes fixated on the other woman. She engineers a “chance” meeting, befriends her, and slowly builds an intense emotional connection. What begins as revenge evolves into something far more dangerous and intimate, culminating in the two women having an affair—turning the original betrayal back on the man who caused it.
I want AG to fuck me. I want him to tie me up so I can only walk on all fours and then for him to stick his cock in my face. I want him to rub it over my face for a solid 10 seconds before sticking it in my mouth. I want him to grab my head and force his cock down my throat repeatedly. Then, I want him to pull out of my mouth and flip me over so I'm facing the ceiling. Then I want him to rub his cock against mine, te… Read more
ayo matt could I have mod, I've seen a lot of questionable things on this site, and I just want to help you out and help clean up the people