Clam jokes

What is the female version of t-bagging? A clam slapping.

What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!

What do clams do on their birthday? They shell a brat.

What is the difference between a human and the human rights act, a tree house, and a human being?

What is the difference between a human being in the car?

Why don’t clams like to share?

Because they’re very shellfish.

Yo' mama sometimes always happens to let you know you're back in New York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: "Could you take my order before Jesus gets back? What's the matter with you? I've evolved into another species here, you understand? I can't eat clam chowder no more. I gotta see the cyborg menu, you understand?"

Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?

It had excellent mussel memory.