Cause jokes
If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?
The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.
Are you a hotdog stand? 'Cause you make my hotdog stand ;)
How much does a chimney cost?
It's free cause it's on the house.
I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.
Your hairline is what caused the Great Depression.
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because two "wongs" don't make a "white."
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
Why does Trump play Minecraft?
'Cause he can build walls.
Are you acid, cause I want to throw [you] at my face?
My pencil sharpener when I bleed:
And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan, because what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What’s an orphan’s favorite phone? An iPhone 14 'cause it doesn’t have a home button.
Why can't orphans be gay?
'Cause they have no one to call "daddy."
Why is it OK to hit an orphan?
Because they can’t tell their parents.
Me: Y’all should start calling me 1943.
Friend: Why?
Me: 'Cause I’m going through my own Great Depression.
Why can’t fish play basketball?
'Cause they are scared of the net.
Is your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go wayyyy back?
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.