Teach a scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.
Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys !
I know them all, just like you keep busting onto your computer keyboard, that's why it's always got sticky keys
Why did the car key never fit in? He was too door key.
The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man. You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.