Butchery jokes

How does a butcher keep his tent up in the wind? Steaks.

What did the butcher say to the pig?

Nice to meat you.

Get shanked with a lamb shank with a stinky pampa in the tolpan.

What do you call an infant with no legs?

Ground beef.

I went to the local butcher's and asked him what happened to his Saturday boy. The butcher replies, "I had to fire him, I found him with his dick in the meat slicer!"

"What did you do with the meat slicer?" I asked.

The butcher says, "I had to fire her too!"

Alternative punchline:

"I had to call social services, she was only 14."

Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!

Fruit, vegetables, my arms.

- I work with animals.

- Great! What job?

- A butcher.

First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!" SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?" HE: "I’m a butcher." SHE: "Perfect! I work with humans, I just kill them by cutting them up!"

HE: "So it's you in the newspaper?" SHE: "Yes, it was, wanna be next?" HE: "No!"

I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me.