Butchery jokes

What did the butcher say to the pig?

Nice to meat you.

Get shanked with a lamb shank with a stinky pampa in the tolpan.

How does a butcher keep his tent up in the wind? Steaks.

What do you call an infant with no legs?

Ground beef.

*on a date*

me - "I get to work with animals all day."

her - "How sweet! What do you do?"

me - "I'm a butcher."

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

A cocksucker is still a cocksucker if a cocksucker only sucks for moral, religious, or health reasons, and a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons can still be a cocksucker, so how can a cocksucker be a vegetarian for moral, religious, or health reasons?

At a date:

He: "I work with animals every day."

Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"

He: "I'm a butcher."

I just found out my ex got stabbed today... let's just say I lost my job as a butcher.