British jokes

An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator, not a lift" and "it's chips, not crisps" etc. After a while of this, the British person calmly retorted, "they're schools, not shooting ranges."

What did Paul Revere yell during a full moon?

The British are cumming! The British are cumming!

Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!

An American woman married a British man. On their honeymoon, the British husband said, "You look like a million pounds!" The wife divorced him.

What’s the difference between an Englishman and a unicorn?

Nothing.

What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?

The tea bag stays in the cup longer.