British jokes
How did the British lose the War of 1812?
They were out-Britshed.
Roses are red, my name is Dan...
TDM, I have a gun, GET IN THE VAN!
The American salute starts with your hand facing flat towards the ground on your head.
The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American salute.
The French salute starts with your hands in the air.
The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.
In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually.
Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?
Why?
So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.
An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator, not a lift" and "it's chips, not crisps" etc. After a while of this, the British person calmly retorted, "they're schools, not shooting ranges."
What did Paul Revere yell during a full moon?
The British are cumming! The British are cumming!
Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!
An American woman married a British man. On their honeymoon, the British husband said, "You look like a million pounds!" The wife divorced him.
What’s the difference between an Englishman and a unicorn?
Nothing.
What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.