Bodily Function jokes
An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee.
A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after a while and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in."
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What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."
Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.
What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!
Some guy farts and says, "That was some asshole behind me."