Augustine jokes

Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.

You're so hot!

Why are priests called father? Because it's too suspicious to call them daddy.

How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.

Boy goes to Confession.

Boy: "What are you doing, father?"

Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."

Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"

Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."

A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.

The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.

The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"

The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"

I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."

I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"